Almost Time For Sleep

So I am sitting here watching "How I Met Your Mother" a show I have fallen in love with and thinking, "OMFG, it's snowing outside and I have to work tomorrow...urgh" and thinking about everything that I have to do in the next four weeks... and I feel like I can't. I am simply not equipped to deal with all of this. Oye.

Why in the hell do I do this? I don't understand. I am so stoked to be moving, I really am, totally excited, but... there is so much work to do and no time to do it in. Cleaning the house, selling my stuff, going through clothes, giving stuff away, shipping other stuff... where does the time come from? Granted I will have 2 weeks at the end of this month, 14 days to get everything done that I have to get done. Now I am not going to be able to sleep.

/PANIC/

Okay... deep breath. What am I doing? Leaving a secure place, a good job, a place where I know everyone and am able to get around without thinking about it, and for what? A whisper and a promise of something new, a sparkle of hope that I feel at the idea of starting a brand new life. Oh dear, I am going to lose it. I never go off half cocked and yet, here I am. Fleeing my life with a few thousand dollars in the hope that things will go better somewhere that isn't here.

Okay... deep breath again... I need a cigarette.

*Brief Interlude*

Okay, back again. I think I will be okay, it's a small house and my mom and sister are going to come up and help me. As for a new life, well... I have the totally unique chance to reinvent myself as someone else. Everything in my past doesn't HAVE to be there.

Crazy drunk mom? Gone. Foster care and those horror stories? Pish, who needs 'em, not I. Everything else that makes me who I am? Don't need it to be me, right? Yeah... so... yeah.

Urrr... well, I will think about it and get over it I guess. No turning back now, I do best in panic mode. So deep breath and...........

******PANIC******

Ha! Loves it!