There was a very tired girl. /sigh
I look around my house and I can't bear the thought of going through all of my things and deciding what I want to keep and what I want to get rid of.
There's the cup I stole from Red Robin for my 21st birthday, my only intentional act of petty crime and the first legal alcoholic drink I ever bought. My first cat's ashes. Movies and books I have spent years collecting. Clothes that I have had since I was 16 years old. A shelf I have had since I was 11 that is now masquerading as my TV stand. It's exhausting deciding what to keep and what to toss, give away, or sell... then there is the daunting task of deciding what things are worth in reality vs what they are worth to me emotionally.
I have a really good idea of what it is that I want to keep and what I want to get rid of. Time seems to be going so fast though and I just can't bring myself to do it. I am so glad that my mom and sister are coming up to help me out and take a lot of my things off my hands. The thing that is going to be hardest for me to leave behind is my cat. It's only for a month or two but you know, he's my baby.
There are so many things and people I am leaving behind, and, let's face it, I am terrified. Terrified of starting a new life in a place where I won't know anything or anyone except for one person. One person in my entire world, no job, no prospects. /shivers
I know I'll be okay, change is scary and it's about time I had some. It's just so hard to leave everything in the world I have ever known behind and go someplace where everything is new.
I was once in a similar position. I went off to college in another city with hardly anything more than the clothes on my back. Then I left college with even less for other cities I had no previous connection to. Things have a way of working out in ways we can't even imagine before we set off down the Yellow Brick Road....
ReplyDeleteI've been reminded of that a lot this year as I've buried relatives and had to liquidate their estates. There have been literally thousands of things to save or sell or give away - many full of layers and layers of meaning....
ReplyDeleteI've heard it said that life is all about learning how to let go. That seems truer than ever now....
I think there comes a point where we realize that the only things that really count and can take with us into the future are the things inside our head.
(Oh, and our bodies, too!)
*Hugs*